May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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