So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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