just survived the first fart of the relationship.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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