But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
