In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
