You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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