the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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