is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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