the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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