I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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