I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
