omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
