I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize