What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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