What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
