If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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