It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
