I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
