Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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