Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
