I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
