I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
