So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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