How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
