We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
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