3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I would fuck him just for his dog
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