So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
