Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
