turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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