He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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