remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
