If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize