The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Two words: blizzard sex
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
