i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize