did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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