so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I would fuck him just for his dog
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
