Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Randomize
