I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize