she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
