Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
