dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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