He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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