I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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