There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
