He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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