If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
