Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
