How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
