I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We left an ass print on the piano.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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