Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
