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• (716): View more from New York

  so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome

  (914): View more from New York

  i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  that's gum

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was

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• (925): View more from California

  He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How's your threesome situation going?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Optimistic

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• (650): View more from California

  I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?

  (831): View more from California

  I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home

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