mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize