her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
