Where did you get a picture of my penis
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
