Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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