I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
